Seasons

My heart aches now that you're gone. Where did you go? Where did you hide? What have I done for you to disappear. I search this endless dying forest. No sounds come forth, Nor a trail you left. My memories are like the bread crumbs which would lead me back to you. But, it isn't you. The dreams, the dreams of you, with your blank stare, the smile of joy, leaving this world. You don't speak. Not a sound passes your lips. Why do you tease me so?

  Just one word...I don't care what it is. Please tell me you are still here, that you haven't abandoned me like a bag of cats in a river. I claw my way through my mind. I scream to know the answers. Set me free from this cinch sack of despair. Don't let me drown in the river of my tears. Answer me! Give me a sign! Why are you withering away in my memory like a dying summer rose?

 The seasons change. With each browning leaf, fluttering to the ground, your smell, your voice, your any proof of existence dies with it. Those memories I grasp at. The crisp leaves crumble dryly in my hands, until they are nothing but dust. Seasons change again, and it snows.

 Each flake is a shine of your smile, every sparkle of laughter. Your beauty blankets the ground I tread on. If I listen with all my heart, I hear each flake land like a faint whisper of your voice; Yet I cannot seem to grasp the words in which you say. And just like the leaves in the fall, the snow, your fleeting existence is gone, melted into puddles.

  I stare, looking for you, but my wondrous stare greets me back. Yet again, the season changes. Spring is coming. A hope of rebirth and joy. *I feel sorrow and pain. With every flower which will bloom, every petal which will roll out and greet the Lord and his newly created day; a silent whisper of 'Be still and listen' and 'Feel the soul of the flowers, soak up the rays of the sun' buzz through the Cicada's wings. You seem to hug me and give me small kisses of sunlight. The wind is you pushing my hair behind my ear. With each day I hope the abandonment releases a hold and teaches me that I'm not in fact drowning, but basking in God's glory.

 Knowing you were done with your seasons, and I still have mine.